Mary And Martha (And The Men)

This is Part 3 of an 8-Part Series on Women (And Men) in the Bible

In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus and His disciples (still, presumably, all men at this point)* are traveling to Jerusalem and they stop on the way in the village of Bethany. They have been invited to stay in the home of Martha (the sister of Mary and Lazarus). Without question, one of Martha's spiritual gifts is hospitality, but she is also very detail-oriented (and if I had to guess, I'd say perhaps a bit of a perfectionist with a touch of anxiety!) She has welcomed a large group of travelers into her home and that entails a lot of extra work, particularly in the preparation of meals. She starts to feel overwhelmed by the amount of work that needs to be done. Meanwhile, Mary is sitting at Jesus' feet listening to Him teach and hanging on His every word. Martha complains to Jesus that her sister, Mary, is not helping her and asks Jesus to intervene.

But instead of Jesus calling Mary out on being lazy or unproductive, Jesus corrects Martha; He tells Martha that she is the one being distracted. She is worrying about things that aren't even important, and that, even of the things that are important, the thing that is the most important is spending time with Him and listening to His teaching. I am guessing this must have shocked the daylights out of Martha; she was expecting Jesus to correct Mary and, instead, He corrected her! Presumably in front of all of the men who were there to listen to Him teach! I am also guessing this was more than a bit of a surprise to Mary - and probably a huge sigh of relief for her!

This has always been one of my favorite stories in scripture because I identify so much with Mary. I don't think hospitality is necessarily one of my "spiritual gifts"; I am always in awe of those for whom it is. To be honest, just the thought of hosting people in my home for a meal or an overnight stay is enough for me to break out in a cold sweat! I would not need to spend a lot of time in preparation if I were having a large number of people over to my house for dinner (at least not in the kitchen!) because if they were good friends or family, I would probably order pizza, and if it was anyone else, I would literally call a caterer! In addition to that, one of the things I absolutely love to do is soaking in God's Word any way that I can get it: reading scripture, doing Bible studies, leading Bible studies, going to church, watching sermons online, listening to praise and worship music and studying the origins of the lyrics. You can just ask my kids; I am a self-proclaimed Jesus Freak!

So as a younger Christian, these are the themes I pulled from this story, and these are the themes pastors usually stress.

But several years ago, I was reading this story again, and I had an "aha!" moment. I suddenly realized that this story wasn't just about spiritual gifts or time management ... this was also about gender! The custom at the time (and still frequently today) is that the women would be the ones "in the kitchen" ... planning the meals, cooking the meals, cleaning up after the meals. And the men would have been the ones in the other room hanging out with Jesus. Martha not only had a sister named Mary, but she also had a brother named Lazarus, and she never complains to Jesus that Lazarus isn't helping her, or that the other men listening to Jesus' teaching aren't helping her; she complains to Jesus that her sister, Mary, wasn't helping her. Even just typing this gets me a bit choked up because my whole life, the women of my generation and earlier have been sent the nonverbal message that a "woman's place" - my place - was in the kitchen. A place where I certainly don't feel all that comfortable, or like I fit in or belong, or in which I "excel". At holidays and during vacations, there is frequently this expectation of the women being responsible for the food, and there have been times in the past when I have dreaded it; I always felt like I didn't measure up. And here Jesus was, publicly validating Mary!

But there's still more to this particular record in scripture. In June of 2019, I was visiting Radiant Church and Pastor Lee Cummings was doing a series on Heroes of the Bible (both men and women) and this particular sermon was about Mary, and he talked about the fact that "sitting at Jesus' feet" was the posture of a disciple.

According to Google Dictionary, "Disciple" means:

"a follower or student of a teacher, leader, or philosopher."

"a personal follower of Jesus during his life, especially one of the twelve Apostles."

Unlike the way things had been done in the Old Testament (when only boys and men could read scripture and study under a rabbi), Jesus was not only affirming Mary's place with the men, but He was affirming her place with the men in His "Classroom" ... and this Teacher had given her a front row seat! She wasn't sitting in the back, trying to strain her neck to see and hear what was going on. She hadn't been placed in a corner to be "seen and not heard". ... She was seated right up front; listening and learning along with the men! And Jesus made it clear - not only to Martha, but to the men in the room - that she was right where He wanted her to be!

“'Martha, Martha,'” the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'” (Luke 10:41-42) (emphasis mine)

© I Lift My Voice, 2022.

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* At this point, there were women who had been traveling with Jesus and the male disciples and supporting His ministry with their own resources (which would have been a big departure from the norm, in and of itself), but their role is described primarily as providing help for the men, which would have been more consistent with the gender roles of the time. They probably would have been considered "followers" of Jesus, but wouldn't necessarily have been considered "disciples". (See Luke 8: 1-3)

Click Here to Read Part 4 in This 8-Part Series on Women (and Men) in the Bible