"And It Will Not Be Taken Away From Her."

This is Part 12 of a 12-Part Series on Church Hurt

For the sake of simplicity, in this series, I am typically going to refer to any place of worship as a "church" and any type of leader as a "pastor" and/or "priest".

The Biblical Counseling Coalition defines "Church Hurt" as "the painful experiences of being exploited in the context of a collective local church, where spiritual language or even Scripture may be leveraged to justify wrongdoing and protect offenders."

Most of the time, when we think of a church or pastor misusing or abusing Scripture, we think of worst case scenarios, when it's pretty blatant abuse. For example, in situations like Eli and his sons, not only will some of today's church leaders fail to hold others accountable, but they will even go a step further by blaming the victims and quoting New Testament verses about repentance and forgiveness to the victims!

But the most common misuse or abuse of Scripture by churches and pastors is simply insisting that their current understanding of it or interpretation of it is the only "right" way or "correct" way to interpret it, understand it, or apply it. As I outlined in Post 10 ("Speak, Lord, For Your Servant Is Listening"), that is not Biblical. And as I hope you have been able to see throughout this series, translation and interpretation matter! Scripture may be the divinely inspired and inerrant Word of God, but that doesn't mean our written translation and oral interpretation of it doesn't require some occasional correction.

Most pastors are genuinely not "sexist" or "mysoginistic", but because they have been taught a certain way to read, interpret, and understand certain passages in Scripture - and have been repeatedly sent the message that this is the only way (or the only correct way) to interpret Scripture, they are inadvertently reinforcing those types of attitudes and behaviors and unintentionally passing them down to the next generation.

Most churches and church leaders preach and teach complementarianism. They preach and teach it because that is what they've been taught. Not only is it what they have been taught, but they have frequently been taught that it is the only way (or the only "right" or "correct" way) to interpret Scripture.

According to Christianity.com:

"The first tenet of complementarianism is that men and women are equal in personhood. There is no difference in worth. Rather, proponents of complementarianism believe that men and women have separate, though equal, roles in marriage, family life, the church, and elsewhere."

This is why you typically will not see female priests in the Catholic Church or female preachers and teachers in many protestant churches, including most non-denominational ones. Even in churches that have female "pastors" on staff, more often than not, the women do not serve in "lead pastor" or "senior pastor" positions. There are roughly 4 verses in the New Testament that were written by the apostle Paul which are typically used as a basis for complementarian theology.

While some churches and church leaders preach and teach "egalitarianism", it is typically never spoken of within most churches, regardless of whether you are Catholic, denominational Protestant, or non-denominational.

According to Christianity.com:

" ... egalitarians agree with complementarians that men and women are equal in worth. However, egalitarianism goes further to state that men and women are considered equal in role capabilities as well; there are no gender restrictions on what roles men and women can fulfill in the church, home, and society."

When you look at the whole of Scripture, as opposed to taking just a handful of verses out of context, it's more than a bit shocking to me that preaching and teaching egalitarianism is perceived by many as "heresy".

Allow me to give you a few examples.

More recently, I have heard church leaders finally addressing women's roles in a somewhat more inclusive way from the pulpit. And many times, I have heard them or others within the church quote this verse:

“‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams." - Acts 2:17

The problem is that they are quoting this verse as if this is a new thing. Something that has never happened before. As if God only spoke in and through men in the past, but during the end times, He will suddenly start speaking in and through women. But that's not Scriptural. Women have always prophesied - they prophesized in both the Old and New Testament - we have just never been told about it until more recently. Anna was a prophet who served full-time in church ministry and was one of the first to recognize Jesus as the Messiah when He was still an infant. (Luke 2:36-38)

Probably the most common example though is when pastors, churches, or fellow Christians quote 1 Timothy 2:12. Translation and interpretation would lead you to believe that the apostle Paul is proclaiming that women cannot hold positions of leadership over men. However, just like in our current story in 1 Samuel when Samuel is both a prophet and a judge, in the Book of Judges, Deborah is both a prophet and a judge, and she held great power, authority, and influence over men. (Judges 4:1-24)(Judges 5:1-31)

Not only did she hold a position of power and authority, she called the nation of Israel to go to war against their enemy, and she physically went with them into battle. In addition, a woman named Jael single-handedly (and brutally) killed the enemy commander, and the two women were crucial in delivering a huge victory for the nation of Israel! (Judges 4:9) Not only were women capable and qualified to have authority over men, in many regards you could say these two women "served in the military"! And this was more than 1000 years BC/BCE!

Rick Warren, retired Southern Baptist Pastor and Founder of Saddleback Church, recently wrote an apology to all Christian women for not taking the time to ever question what he had been taught all of the years he taught, served, and led in ministry. He writes:

"My biggest regret in 53 years of Christian ministry is that I didn't do my own personal exegesis sooner on the 4 passages used to restrict women. Shame on me. ... When I did my proper 'due diligence', laying aside 50 years of bias, I was shocked, chagrined, and embarrassed." (Click Here to Read His Full Statement)

I applaud him for his honesty. And I graciously accept his apology. And I implore my brothers in Christ - especially those in ministry and/or leadership - to please follow his example!

Take the time to look at Scripture again with an open heart and mind, and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's guidance. And if you still can't embrace egalitarianism yourself, at least acknowledge to those you serve that it exists and that it is a legitimate way to read and interpret Scripture so that the people whom you shepherd can weigh these things, pray about them, and come to their own conclusions.

Most women in the Church have encountered some form of sexism in the church. Why? Because when it comes to race or gender:

"Separate, but equal" isn't really "equal".

Dr. Andrew J. Bauman, a former Baptist pastor and Christian Counselor, conducted a study of women who serve or have served in Christian ministry, and he published his findings in a book called, "Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities". What he found is that a majority of women still experience at least subtle forms of sexism - even in egalitarian churches! He does a great job of summarizing many of the issues - even the more subtle ones - that churches are still facing today. To me, it is a must read for anyone in ministry - male or female. I cannot recommend it enough.

In Mary and Martha (and the Men), I explore some of the deeper implications of the interaction these two women had with Jesus. But since writing it in 2022, one other aspect of this story has been weighing heavily on my mind.

In John 4:27, Jesus has broken some cultural expectations regarding gender roles and while the male disciples were shocked by His behavior, they didn't have the courage to question Him on it. (You can read more in: "The Woman (and Men) at the Well")

In the story of Mary and Martha, Mary is breaking the cultural expectations regarding gender roles, and, unlike the men, Martha boldly asks Jesus about this. Martha, a woman, was not only interrupting Jesus' teaching, but she was doing so in order to ask Jesus what the men were, most likely, too afraid to ask: Why is Mary listening to Your preaching and teaching - learning alongside the men - instead of working and serving in the kitchen where the church culture dictated that a woman should be?

Jesus replies, "'Martha, Martha ... you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed - or indeed only one. ... "

My guess is that at least one of the things Martha was "worried and upset about" was that Mary was crossing a pretty clear gender boundary, not just in the culture, but in the church. Mary wasn't just doing something that would normally be done by men - she was learning under the teachings of a "rabbi". Martha thought Mary was clearly "overstepping" - that she "didn't know her place".

I wonder how Mary would be described by the men in the church (or by the "Martha"'s!) if this type of situation were to happen today; would she be labeled "a feminist"? "difficult"?; "bossy"; "opinionated"?; "radical"?

But Jesus didn't label Mary at all! In fact, He gave her permission to be in the room! To break "the code"!

And note how Jesus said it. He didn't say, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed - or indeed only one. ... It's okay! The important work will get done!"

He said:

" ... Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'" - Luke 10:41-42

The phrase "it will not be taken away from her" is from a Greek word that means "to take away, remove, cut off". This is the only time this word is ever used in Scripture.

Change may originate with the prayers and voices of women, but ultimately, men are in a position of power and authority to give or to take away. Change will need to be executed by male leadership listening and responding to the Voice of God. They can be like Eli and refuse to take correction - quenching and/or grieving the Holy Spirit - or they can be open to the leading and teaching of the Holy Spirit. We have to have male leaders who are willing to look at Scripture with fresh eyes; otherwise, we are just passing down our own strongholds and biases from one generation to the next.

"The Word is alive and active and sharper than any double edged sword." - Hebrews 4:12

© I Lift My Voice, 2025